At school, a boy is told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth” even when you don’t know anything.
The boy decides to go home and try it out. As he is greeted by his mother at the front door he says, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.”
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day, when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.”
The mailman drops the mail, opens his arms and says, “Then come give your FATHER a big hug!”
MORE………
Little Johnny ’s next door neighbors had a baby.
Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears.
When they arrived home from the hospital, the parents invited Little Johnny’s family to come over and see their new baby. Little Johnny’s parents were very afraid that their son would have a wise crack to say about the baby so the dad had a long talk with little Johnny before going to the neighbors.
He said “Now, son… that poor baby was born without any ears. I want you to be on your best behavior and not say one word about his ears or I am really going to spank you when we get back home.”
“I promise not to mention his ears at all” said Little Johnny.
At the neighbors home, Little Johnny leaned over in the crib and touched the baby’s hand He looked at it’s mother and said “Oh What a Beautiful little baby”. The mother said “Thank you very much, Little Johnny.”
He then said, “this baby has perfect little hands and perfect little feet. Why… just look at his pretty little eyes…. Did his doctor say that he can see good?”
The Mother said “why, yes Johnny… his doctor said he has 20/20 vision.
Little Johnny said “well, its a darn good thing, cause he sure couldn’t wear glasses!!!
A three year old walked over to the pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office.
He inquisitively asks the lady,” why is your stomach so big?” She replied, “Im having a baby.”
With big eyes,he asked, “Is the baby in your stomach?” She said, “He sure is.”
Then the little boy with a puzzled look asked, “Is it a good baby?” She said, “oh yes, its a real good baby.”
With even a more surprised and shocked look he said, “Then why in the world did you eat him?”